When Jess first reached out to Find Food Freedom®, her period was a few days late.
She wasn’t pregnant, but the possibility brought up something she couldn’t ignore: out of all the things she could have worried about when thinking about a potential pregnancy, the thing that scared her most was being pregnant in her largest body.
That was the moment she realized, Okay, I might need some help here.
Jess had been dieting for about 15 years. She already knew dieting wasn’t working for her anymore, but she didn’t really know what the alternative was. She had spent so much time living within food rules and trying to change her body that walking away from dieting felt like walking away from the only structure she knew.
Almost two years later, she found herself in an eerily similar situation.
Her period was late again. This time by six days. She took a pregnancy test, and it was negative.
And then two days went by before she realized something kind of huge:
She hadn’t freaked out about the possibility of being pregnant in her current body.
Same situation. Same body fears she had carried for years. Completely different response.
Sometimes that’s what body image progress looks like.
Progress doesn’t always feel like a big breakthrough
When Jess first started working with Maya, one of our Find Food Freedom® dietitians, she expected nutrition counseling to eventually become what she had always associated with seeing a dietitian.
At some point, surely Maya was going to ask her to write down everything she ate. There would be a food journal. A plan. Maybe a calorie goal. Some sort of syllabus telling her exactly what to do.
That never happened.
Instead, their sessions became a place for Jess to bring whatever she was actually struggling with at that moment. Sometimes that might involve gentle nutrition. Other times it could be body image, movement, diet culture, or something she needed help unpacking.
As Jess put it, the process has been much less linear than she expected.
And I think that lack of a neat, linear path can be uncomfortable when you’ve spent years dieting.
Diet culture loves tangible measures. Pounds. Calories. Macros. Clothing sizes. Before-and-after pictures. Streaks. Steps. There is always some number available to tell you whether you are supposedly doing a “good” job.
Body image work doesn’t always give you that instant feedback.
Sometimes you don’t realize how much has changed until you encounter something that used to send you spiraling… and it doesn’t anymore.
What if the goal isn’t loving your body all the time?
When Jess filled out her initial paperwork, one of her long-term goals was to be able to look in the mirror and feel happy with her body.
Today, she says she probably wouldn’t use the word happy anymore.
Most days, she feels more neutral.
She has more peace inside her body. She respects her body more. She considers what it needs, including allowing herself to rest without believing she has to earn it first. And while difficult body image thoughts can still show up, they no longer have the same ability to dictate the rest of her day.
That’s an important distinction because body acceptance can easily become another impossible standard.
You don’t need to wake up every morning, look in the mirror, and think you look freaking amazing to prove that you’ve healed your body image.
Some days you might like what you see. Some days you might feel neutral. Some days you might have a negative thought.
The difference is what happens next.
Before starting this work, Jess described waking up and immediately checking the mirror to see if she looked smaller. She eventually dieted down to a body smaller than the original “goal” she had set for herself and realized she still wasn’t satisfied.
There was always another version of smaller available.
Now, when an old body image or food thought pops up, she can recognize it without automatically obeying it.
She doesn’t have to restrict because of it. She doesn’t have to starve herself. She doesn’t have to find another diet plan.
The thought gets to be a thought.
And she gets to keep living her life.
Your body doesn’t need to earn your respect
One of the conversations that stuck with Jess happened when she and Maya were talking about accepting life in a fat body.
Jess realized she had absorbed this idea that if she was going to exist in a larger body, she somehow needed to compensate for it. She needed to be exceptional in some other way. She needed to prove something.
Through their work together, she began exploring where those beliefs came from and intentionally exposing herself to bodies and perspectives she hadn’t seen represented in the diet-culture-heavy spaces she had spent years consuming.
That matters because we aren’t forming beliefs about our bodies in a vacuum.
We live in a culture that has plenty to say about which bodies are desirable, disciplined, healthy, worthy, or acceptable. You can’t necessarily control every message you encounter, but over time, you can get curious about which messages you’ve internalized as your own.
Jess described reaching a point where she realized that someone else’s beliefs about fat bodies didn’t automatically have to become beliefs about her body.
That doesn’t magically erase every difficult thought.
But it can change how much power those thoughts have.
Then one day, you notice you didn’t spiral
Nearly two years after that first late period pushed Jess to reach out for support, she was standing in almost the exact same situation.
Another late period. Another pregnancy test.
But the panic about existing in her current body wasn’t there.
She didn’t intentionally practice the “right” response. She didn’t have to talk herself out of a spiral. She didn’t even notice the absence of that fear until two days later.
She was just… okay.
And I freaking love that.
Because so much of healing your relationship with your body can be difficult to measure while you’re in it.
Maybe progress is going swimming without spending the entire morning thinking about how you look in your bathing suit.
Maybe you hear someone talking about their new diet and don’t immediately wonder whether you should be doing it too.
Maybe you look in the mirror, have a negative thought, get dressed, and go about your day.
Maybe you rest because you’re tired without calculating whether you “deserve” it.
Maybe a situation that once would have consumed you happens again, and somewhere along the way you realize:
Oh. I didn’t spiral.
That counts.
If you want to hear Jess share more about her experience working with Maya and how her relationship with food, movement, and accepting her body has evolved, you can hear Jess’s full story here.
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If your body image is influencing what you eat, how you move, what you wear, or how fully you participate in your life, our weight-inclusive dietitians at Find Food Freedom® can support you without making weight loss the goal.
And you may have nutrition counseling benefits through your insurance without even realizing it. Check your insurance benefits here to see what coverage you have for virtual 1:1 nutrition counseling with our team.
