Do you partake in stress eating or emotional eating? I want you to think about it. I want you to close your eyes right now and think about the last time that you stress ate or emotionally ate something. What time of day was it? Where were you in the house? Who was around? What emotions were coming up? Was it a sudden event, or is this a recurring pattern? Become curious. Remove the judgment, remove the shame, remove the guilt. An easy way to do this, if you have a son or a daughter, a sister or a best friend. I want you to pretend that they were right there talking to you and telling you about the last time that they stress ate. Would you open your mouth and say to them “How could you do that, you are such a pig, you have no willpower, you disgust me?” No, the answer is no. You would not say that, so we need to recognize if we are doing that and if there is negative self-talk going on in our heads right now.
The first step is recognizing it. Being able to sit with it and say, I’m just going to recognize it. If we do notice that we have been stress-eating or emotional eating, maybe this is something we’ve noticed before COVID-19 came about. Because we’re in a time of uncertainty, it is totally normal for this behavior pattern to be heightened and for more of it to happen and the reason why… It is a coping mechanism that you have been taught or have learned to do in times of fear, stress, anxiety, etc. To be honest, most people do stress or emotionally eat. You have been taught to do this and you are doing what your body does best, it’s trying to save you.
Now, look at this picture above, that cute trendy little rug on the floor there. Now imagine every time you turn to food or alcohol during a stressful time, you’re picking up that metaphorical rug, you’re brushing those emotions under the rug, putting the rug down, and you are turning to food and/or alcohol. If you notice you are picking up the rug, sweeping the emotions under the rug, putting it down and turning to food and/or alcohol and then feeling guilt, shame or whatever that negative emotion is. You are not alone. That is a coping mechanism that you’ve been taught. It is not wrong, you are not bad, we just need to build the coping mechanisms in your toolbox. So when other things become stressful, anxious or when you’re angry, you will have other coping mechanisms to turn to. I would be doing you a disservice if I said that you’re not going to stress eat or emotionally eat again in your life. It is going to happen, but we need to get to the root of the problem. That’s one of the ten “Intuitive Eating Principles” which our entire practice is based on.
Intuitive Eating(founded by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch) is a self-care form of eating that helps you regain trust with your body with ten principles that are backed by over 120 studies. We need to normalize this eating or eating in general as a coping mechanism. The more you normalize it, the more you’ll find when it happens. This is not me saying “every time you’re anxious, sad, etc. I want you to just go and eat everything and don’t worry about it”. That’s not what I’m saying. I want you to just normalize it as a coping mechanism and remove shame, guilt, and judgment behind it. If you say, “Sammy, I don’t want to normalize this because I physically feel so sick after I stress eat or emotionally eat, I have to unbutton my pants and lay down.” I don’t want you to feel that way. I don’t want you to feel physically unpleasant. But going into it saying “I’m not going to do it” and “I’m going to restrict myself” or “I’m not allowed to have these foods.” How has that worked for you thus far? Chances are if you’re reading this, you can relate to that and say every time you’ve restricted something or told yourself you’re not going to do it again. You do it again, and it’s not because you’re a failure. It’s because you’re in this diet culture hamster wheel that tells you, “RESTRICT, have will power, deprive!” And that isn’t going to help. So how can we sit without judgment, shame and guilt, and feel physical sensations in our body and then learn from them? Because if we feel physically unpleasant and are able to identify that, we can remove feeling emotionally unpleasant.
There are four different categories of coping mechanisms straight out of Intuitive Eating: Distraction, Support, Dealing with Feeling Directly and Self Care. Ask yourself, “What do you need?” This is very individualized based on the circumstances of how the stress eating is going on. Then ask yourself these questions, “What is causing distress”, What environment am I in”, What resources do I have”, “What privileges do I have”. Now let’s break it down further and walk through the stress or emotional eating. Break it down and identify what you need in that exact moment. Please know that if you’re noticing a heightened amount of stress or emotional eating going on right now, you are not a bad person, you are not morally bad, you are doing what your body knows to do best. It is a natural coping mechanism and we want to help you build additional coping mechanisms. Not because we don’t want you to eat, you’re still going to eat sometimes when you’re stressed and that’s okay. But because we want you to physically feel good, physically and emotionally. Below are examples of the four coping mechanisms, straight out of the Intuitive Eating workbook to help guide you during this stressful time!
Distraction:
- Change of environment
- Watch a funny movie
- Music
- Play with your pet
- Go out with a friend
Support:
- Call a friend
- Talk to family
- Talk with a therapist
- Text a friend
- Talk with a spiritual advisor such as a rabbi, priest, or minister
Dealing with Feeling Directly:
- Write in journal
- Listen to Music that matches your feelings
- Write a letter
- Sit with your feeling for 10 minutes
- Talk with a therapist
Self Care:
- Set limits
- Alone time
- Go for a walk outside
- Sleep/Rest
- Unplug from phone/computer
