Julie with Find Food Freedom® here, let’s talk Menopause shall we!
First things first, menopause is a natural process that most women go through in life.
And Menopause is also discussed less frequently as other time periods in a person’s life, such as puberty or childbearing years.
The changes our bodies go through during puberty and childbearing years are accepted as “normal.” And they are—all body changes and processes are normal—however, the changes our bodies exhibit in one stage are not better than the changes seen or felt at other periods.
To navigate the changes of menopause, open discussion is necessary for sharing tips to cope with new, challenging experiences.
And navigating menopause as an intuitive eater opens up a whole can of worms!
Once I started my intuitive eating journey, I went through the usual initial phase of giving myself permission to eat and getting used to eating all foods. Then my body stabilized, and I’ve stayed the same weight for several years.
Fast forward: I just turned 53 earlier this year. Over the last six months, I have been in menopause and my body has changed drastically.
A couple of months ago I was getting ready to go eat brunch with my husband, and I put on a pair of shorts. Or, I should say, I tried to put on a pair of shorts… they didn’t fit!
These are shorts I had worn last summer, and I couldn’t button them.
So I put on a pair of leggings and tried not to let it bother me.
But when we sat down to brunch, I started crying.
My poor husband was blindsided. “What’s going on?!” he asked me.
Between sobs, I told him that my shorts didn’t fit, my body has been changing SO much, and I was really struggling.
He was flabbergasted. “But you accepted your body years ago,” he said. “You’ve come so far – I thought we were beyond all of this.”
I admitted that I didn’t know why it was suddenly coming up, so he suggested that I think about what I tell my clients in situations like this.
So, I had to dig deep and look at the facts:
Yesterday, I was fine with my body. And today, I put on those shorts, they didn’t fit, and I was having a literal meltdown.
So, what else was going on?
Earlier that morning, we were booking a family trip, and I was stressing out over finding flights, how much money we were spending, and how to coordinate it all.
So, I already had a lot going on when I tried to put on those shorts.
I realized that I was scapegoating; my body was just an easy place to focus all the stress I was feeling. When there’s a lot of stress or emotion going on in our lives, we tend to go right to the body because it’s something that we feel we can point to and control.
(Of course, sometimes it IS 100% the fact that you can’t fit into an old piece of clothing – and that’s normal along your body acceptance journey.)
Once I realized that, I moved on. And after brunch, I went to Target, bought two pairs of shorts that fit, and I was fine. Over the last couple of months, I’ve learned how to dress this new body and what feels comfortable and looks good on it.
Since then, I also took some time and space to go back to how I think about my body. Menopause is happening to me, but I hadn’t really factored it into my thinking around my body.
I realize now that I need to respect this stage of life, and that I’m simply not going to have the body I had when I was 20 or even 40. Moving forward, I need to take care to be compassionate with myself.
Before menopause, I think felt like I had “succeeded” at intuitive eating and was just going to be happy with my body for the rest of my life. But our bodies change over our lives, and that’s completely expected and normal.
No matter how much work you do on your intuitive eating journey, you’re still going to face struggles – even if you’re a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor.
With each new stage of life, you’re going to have to come to terms with the changes in your body and accept it all over again.
But with the tools you develop along the way, you can get through these hurdles!
When you have been in diet culture for 10, 20, 30, or more years means you have been fighting changes to your physical appearance through dieting and exercise. And now you are on this intuitive eating journey to make peace with food and your body.
Even if you are on your IE journey, your body will change. Outside of the influences from diet culture. Bodies change, this is normal. Over the course of the previous six months, my body has drastically changed as a result of menopause.
Here are tips I share with clients that have become useful tools for myself, from my husband’s encouragement, along my menopause journey.
Being an intuitive eater does not automatically mean that you are free from feeling negative emotions about your body or that the relationship you hold with your body encapsulates love and happiness. This is something that has been specifically coming up for me on my menopause journey. I have had to remind myself that my body is changing and I cannot compare it to the body I had as a 20, 30, 40-year-old woman. Knowing this, I can move forward with more compassion for myself and my body.
Your relationship with your body is a constant work in progress, from one day to the next. When you notice negative self-talk, take moments to stop it and reconstruct how you speak to yourself to be more neutral or positive. Your IE journey offers other tools to help you navigate your experiences through menopause.
During menopause, it is a very natural process for our bodies to shift and move around. Thinking about these changes and shifts can be triggering and make the idea of beginning menopause nerve wracking. However, your journey along IE and body acceptance is a reminder that it is not your job to love your body; the goal is to find a neutral place to hold your relationship with your body.
The goal is to be able to wake up and not say negative things about your body.
A few things I have worked on is making sure that I wear clothing that is comfortable and fits. I throw out any clothes that do not fit my body; I am not going to force my body into them—yes, I did throw out the shorts that led to my emotional unpacking. I will buy new shorts, jeans, or whatever I need. Finding 1 or 2 pairs that fit and are comfortable is ideal. I am learning how to dress my body in clothes that I feel comfortable and good in.
I also find it important to constantly reinforce the message that my body is the least interesting thing about me. This is the same for you! Recognize that the people around you—family, friends, coworkers—love you for who you are, not because of your body shape or size.
It is very common for hormones to change; it is the circle of life. Any changes you experience as a result of hormone changes do not mean you are doing anything wrong, or that you have lost control. Often, the body becomes a scapegoat during stressful times because we feel a sense of control over it. In reality, our bodies change over our lives, and that is expected and normal. Choosing to go back on a diet will only raise your set point higher and you will gain more weight in the long term.
Really, you must come to a place of acceptance that menopause is another season of your life. Remind yourself to have kindness, compassion, and grace as you go through changes.
No matter where you are in your IE journey, these triggers are going to arise. Continue to develop tools along the way on your IE journey to navigate negative emotions.
If this blog post resonated with you, click here to listen to our podcast episode “Intuitive Eating & Menopause” to hear more!
Want to learn more about intuitive eating?
Click here to check out all the current Find Food Freedom happenings!
Click here to join our monthly Find Food Freedom membership program!