It is not your responsibility to convince people not to diet.
Easier said than done, right?
Setting boundaries with loved ones who are entrenched in diet culture can be extremely difficult because some of us are natural people pleasers. Some of us don’t like to set boundaries. However, creating healthy boundaries is essential to get others to treat you in ways that meet your needs.
What are Boundaries?
Think of boundaries as guardrails. When you’re driving, and ever get too close to the edge, that guardrail bumps you back on the road and sets you straight. They’re there to keep you safe and comfortable.
As you start your intuitive eating journey, one of the biggest things I hear from people is “I feel like I am the only one doing this.” This can be so difficult because, while you’re trying to better your relationship with food and your body, you’re surrounded by people who are on diet after diet trying to shrink their body. Just as you’re starting to make peace with food, you step outside and are immediately pulled back into this weight-obsessed world.
This is where boundaries come into play.
Spot the Signs of Projection
“Are you really going to eat that?”
How do you want to react when you hear someone make this comment about your food choices? Maybe you want to punch them in the face. Maybe you want to scream at them. Maybe you want to cry. Instead of succumbing to your emotions, recognize that the people who make these comments are projecting. If someone ever comments on your plate or your body, it is a projection of how they see their relationship with food or their body.
The good news? You can make that divide. Build your own fence to separate yourself and protect your own feelings from the toxic thoughts and beliefs of diet culture. Recognize that this person is in diet culture, and you aren’t anymore.
Practice Makes Perfect
Unfortunately, these comments will be made; there is no avoiding them. Therefore, roleplaying these scenarios before they happen in real life can ensure that you’re prepared for these conversations.
Let’s assume that your friend is doing keto and they just can’t seem to shut up about the fact that they’ve lost ‘X’ amount of pounds in one week and have never felt better in their entire life.
Your immediate reaction may be to tell them all the reasons why the keto diet is dumb, but this often just results in them getting super defensive without actually getting through to them. As much as you may want to respond this way, it is usually unproductive and a waste of your mental energy.
It is not your responsibility to convince people not to diet. Your mental energy should be your priority. Know that this has everything to do with them, and NOTHING to do with you.
How to Change the Subject
- Fake a Phone Call
Yup. You literally pull out the fake phone call card, you get on the phone, and you leave the room. You just go. You don’t have to actually be on the phone, but you pretend like you’re making a call to get out of the conversation.
- Change the Subject
Make some type of joke and transition to something else. Have something in your back pocket that you know that you want to talk about – a new television show, a picture of your pet, something that happened at work, whatever it takes to sway the conversation!
- Set Clear Boundaries
Be direct and let that person know that diet talk is a no-go for you. Examples of what you could say include:
- “I am happy that you’re happy, but diet talk doesn’t interest me anymore.”
- “I don’t like talking about dieting because it has harmed my health in the past.”
- “Diet talk really hurts my mental health, so I’d appreciate it if we could change the subject.”
If your friend/family member/coworker still continues to talk about dieting in your presence, it is okay to let go of that relationship. If they don’t respect your boundaries, then there’s a consequence for them – whether that means walking away, taking a break from the friendship, or ending the relationship altogether. At the end of the day, your mental energy is your most important asset. Protect your energy for the sake of your physical health and mental well-being.
If you enjoyed reading this, I know you will love our other blog: How to Navigate Diet Culture Talk During the Holidays.
HUGE shout out to Lindley Ashline for the wonderful cover image on this blog! Go check out her website for more body liberation stock photos!
Want to learn more about intuitive eating?
Click here to listen to the Find Food Freedom Podcast #24: Setting Diet Culture Boundaries!
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