I binged…now what?
Chances are, you are being swarmed by intrusive thoughts and intense feelings of guilt and shame, wishing you could turn back the clock. You are not alone.
Binge eating does not make you a bad person. A lot of times we have been taught to do this as a coping mechanism from a really young age.
Were you ever…
- Placed on a diet as a child?
- Told that you weren’t allowed to eat certain foods?
- Taught to view certain foods as rewards (ex: candy for getting an A on a test)
- Taught to rely on food to handle negative emotions
Be curious about your childhood experiences and say, okay. I did get food pushed on me as a reward. I did get food pushed on me when things were scarier, during times when I didn’t feel safe. I experienced food restriction as a kid and felt like I had to hide it, or if I ate it, I was doing something wrong. When I would go to friends’ houses, I would try to eat even more of these restricted foods because when I got home, I wasn’t allowed to eat them.
These are some things to start to recognize because a lot of times – when those things are present in childhood or adolescence – it remains within you as an adult. Your relationship with food as a child is still in there. Much of what we do in the intuitive eating process, specifically with binging, is replanting that younger child inside of you.
Binge Eating Vs. Actual Hunger
Let’s talk about the binge setting. Immediately after an apparent binge session, you should identify if it actually was a binge session. There’s a difference between (1) being really hungry and eating a lot of food versus (2) being past the point of hunger and still continuing to eat. We define a binge eating episode as eating past physical unpleasantness even when you’re not hungry.
Diet culture tells you to solve this problem by simply walking away from the kitchen. Or by blaming it on you and your lack of “willpower.” Major eye roll.
In the intuitive eating space, getting you to stop eating is not the goal. The goal is to get you physically, mentally and emotionally present in your body during the eating experience. Do you feel guilt and shame associated with food or portions of food specifically when you binge? After a binge, do you feel guilt and shame associated with the eating experience?
These feelings of guilt and shame are something we have to unpack. Why do we feel guilt and shame? Where do our food rules come from? In order to make peace with food, you need to challenge the belief systems that you have around food. Do this by taking a step back after binge eating and recognizing that eating food does not change your worth or your character.
So…What Do I Do After a Binge?
- Be Compassionate With Yourself.
Recognize that, yes I ate a little bit too much food, but that’s okay because I’m human and I’m trying to cope. Binging does not make me a bad human being. Binging does not change my worth or how much love or acceptance they should get in this world.
- Become Present During the Binge.
Pause. Process. Postpone. Ask yourself, how does the food taste? How does the mouth feel? What is the texture? What is the flavor? Am I enjoying this right now? This doesn’t necessarily mean we have to stop eating, but can we get curious and be present during the binge?
- Identify Other Coping Mechanisms
Let’s say you’re feeling resentful. Is food the best way to deal with this emotion? Probably not, so let’s identify another coping mechanism. How about journaling? This way, you can write your feelings out on paper. Take some deep breaths, put some calming music on, light a candle – there are many ways to make yourself feel supported in times of emotional distress.
As always, give yourself grace and start to get curious about your behaviors. What would life look like for you ten years from now if you never change your relationship with food?
If you enjoyed reading this, I know you will love our other blog: Coping With Emotional Eating.
Want to learn more about intuitive eating?
Click here to listen to the Find Food Freedom Podcast #15: I binged…now what?
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