Have you ever stopped to ask yourself, Do I actually like this food, or have I just been conditioned to believe it’s what I’m supposed to eat?
Maybe you’ve spent years ordering your coffee with skim milk and sugar-free syrup because that’s what diet culture told you was the “healthier” choice. Maybe you automatically reach for the low-fat yogurt or choose a salad when you’d really prefer a sandwich. After years of following food rules, it can become surprisingly difficult to recognize your own preferences.
When you’ve spent so much time making food decisions based on calories, portion sizes, or what you’re “allowed” to eat, figuring out what you actually enjoy can feel like learning something completely new.
And that’s exactly what happened to Chris.
When Diet Culture Makes Your Food Decisions
Chris began working with Find Food Freedom® in January 2021 after spending much of his adult life dieting and struggling with his relationship with food. On his initial paperwork, he described that relationship as unpleasant, explaining that he’d spent his entire adult life on some kind of diet.
Nearly five years later, his perspective has changed dramatically. Today, Chris describes food as something that tastes good, provides energy, and helps him feel good when he’s had enough. But getting to that place meant questioning food rules he’d followed for decades, including some he hadn’t even realized were influencing his decisions.
One of his biggest realizations came from something as ordinary as ordering coffee.
Chris loved coffee, but when I asked him how he actually liked it, he couldn’t answer. He knew how he was supposed to drink it: skim milk, Splenda, sugar-free syrup. He knew which ingredients he’d been taught to avoid and which options were considered acceptable, but he had no idea what actually tasted good to him.
So we started experimenting. He tried different milks, sweeteners, and flavors. Sometimes he preferred the lower-fat option, and sometimes he didn’t. The exciting part was discovering that his preferences could guide his decisions without needing to justify them through calories, fat content, or another diet rule.
Today, Chris gets excited when coffee shops release seasonal flavors because he can actually try them and decide whether he likes them. Something that seems so small represents a pretty significant shift in his relationship with food.
And it brings up a question worth considering: When was the last time you chose something to eat or drink simply because you enjoyed it?
If that feels surprisingly difficult to answer, you might have some food rules worth getting curious about.
For many people, years of dieting can create an automatic mental checklist around eating. Is this too many calories? Does this have enough protein? Should I choose the lower-fat version? Did I already eat something “unhealthy” today?
These questions can become so ingrained that we stop considering what actually sounds satisfying. And when food choices are constantly filtered through diet rules, it can be difficult to recognize the difference between a genuine preference and something we’ve been conditioned to choose.
The good news is that preferences can be explored. You can try different foods, notice what you enjoy, and change your mind. You might discover that you genuinely love a food you’ve always considered healthy, or that something you’ve been forcing yourself to eat for years doesn’t actually taste very good to you.
Both discoveries are valuable.
Learning to Trust Your Food Preferences Again
Another important part of Chris’s experience involved learning that making peace with food didn’t mean losing all structure around eating.
Before exploring intuitive eating, he worried about what would happen if he stopped restricting certain foods. Would he eat everything? Would he lose control? Would he ever stop thinking about the Oreos sitting in his pantry?
These are incredibly common fears, especially for people who have spent years relying on diets to tell them what, when, and how much to eat.
Chris described how, in the past, simply knowing a package of Oreos was in the house could consume his thoughts. Even when he wasn’t hungry, he felt compelled to finish them. Part of our work involved challenging the scarcity mindset that years of food restriction had reinforced.
If he wanted Oreos, he could have them. And if he didn’t want them right now, they could still be there tomorrow. He didn’t need to finish the entire package simply because it was available, and he didn’t need to avoid buying them out of fear that he couldn’t trust himself.
Over time, having access to foods he’d previously restricted helped him develop a different relationship with them. He could begin making decisions based on what sounded good, how hungry he felt, and what would leave him satisfied.
Of course, this process looks different for everyone. Making peace with food can take time, especially when restriction, food insecurity, or a history of disordered eating has influenced your relationship with eating. But learning that foods don’t have to be forbidden can help reduce the urgency and anxiety that often surround them.
And this is where intuitive eating can be incredibly helpful. It encourages us to reconnect with hunger, fullness, satisfaction, and our individual needs rather than relying exclusively on external food rules.
One of the things I appreciate most about Chris’s experience is how this work eventually extended beyond food.
He shared how, even as his relationship with eating improved, body image continued to be challenging. Growing up as a gay man in a larger body had influenced his experiences with body acceptance and belonging, and he spent years worrying about how his body looked or whether certain clothes would fit.
Sometimes those worries affected his ability to enjoy vacations or participate in experiences he was looking forward to. We spent time exploring ways to make those situations more comfortable, including packing clothes that already fit his body rather than hoping something would fit once he arrived.
Chris also began redefining what progress looked like. Instead of measuring success by a number on the scale, he started noticing how often body image thoughts interfered with his life and how quickly he could move through difficult moments.
He wasn’t expecting to wake up every morning absolutely loving his body. He wanted to spend less time worrying about it and more time enjoying his life.
I think that’s such an important part of healing your relationship with food and body image. Progress can look like ordering the coffee you actually enjoy, keeping previously forbidden foods in your pantry without constantly thinking about them, or going on vacation without spending the entire trip worrying about your appearance.
And sometimes progress is simply recognizing that a difficult thought doesn’t have to dictate what happens next.
After nearly five years of working together, Chris’s needs have evolved tremendously. Our conversations today might involve cooking more meals at home, exploring movement in a supportive way, or navigating stressful life experiences without returning to old patterns around food.
He even shared how, during a particularly difficult experience, he realized that food and body image weren’t consuming the mental energy they once would have. He could focus on what was happening, eat what was accessible and satisfying, and care for himself without adding another layer of guilt or judgment.
That’s the kind of freedom we’re working toward.
At Find Food Freedom®, our approach to nutrition counseling is individualized because everyone’s relationship with food, their body, and their life experiences is different. Sometimes that means challenging long-standing food rules. Sometimes it means exploring satisfaction, cooking, movement, or body image. And sometimes it means recognizing how much has changed since you first started.
If you’d like to hear more about Chris’s experience, including how he learned to recognize his own food preferences after years of dieting, you can listen to Chris share his story here.
Ready to Rediscover What You Actually Enjoy Eating?
If you’ve spent years dieting, following food rules, or feeling anxious about your food choices, working with a weight-inclusive registered dietitian can help you begin exploring a different relationship with eating.
At Find Food Freedom®, we support clients in practicing intuitive eating, making peace with food, and reconnecting with their individual needs and preferences without another diet or weight-loss goal attached.
We invite you to submit a quick insurance benefits check so we can begin supporting you ASAP.
