Lately, one of the most common themes coming up in counseling sessions has been some version of this:
“Everyone around me is losing weight, and it’s making this work really hard.”
And honestly? I get it.
It feels like we’re living through a cultural moment where shrinking our bodies is everywhere. Turn on the TV and you’ll see advertisements for weight loss medications. Scroll social media and you’ll likely see before-and-afters, celebrity transformations, and endless conversations about weight loss and “health journeys.”
For many people, especially those healing their relationship with food, recovering from chronic dieting, or working through body image struggles, it can feel overwhelming.
If you’re finding it difficult to stay grounded right now, that makes sense.
These are not easy times to be doing body image work.
Women’s Bodies Are Not Trends
When we look back at popular culture over the last several decades, women’s bodies have often been treated like trends.
Body ideals shift. Headlines celebrate certain body types while criticizing others. One decade celebrates thinness. The next celebrates curves. Then suddenly we’re back to celebrating extreme thinness again.
The problem is that bodies are not trends.
Bodies are human beings.
And when certain body sizes or appearances become highly valued in the media, it creates unrealistic expectations for everyone else. It also sends subtle messages about worth, success, attractiveness, and health, even when nobody is explicitly saying those things out loud.
Young people absorb these messages.
Adults absorb these messages.
All of us do.
That doesn’t mean we should comment on celebrities’ bodies or speculate about anyone’s choices. People’s bodies are their own business. We never know what someone is experiencing medically, emotionally, or personally.
At the same time, we can acknowledge that the cultural environment we’re living in right now can be difficult to navigate.
Both things can be true.
Wanting Weight Loss Doesn’t Make You a Bad Person
Something I talk about often with clients is the difference between desiring weight loss and intentionally pursuing weight loss.
Those are two very different experiences.
Most people seeking support for their relationship with food have, at some point, wanted a smaller body. In a culture that consistently tells us that smaller bodies are better bodies, that desire makes a lot of sense.
Having that desire does not mean you’re failing at intuitive eating.
It does not mean you’re doing recovery wrong.
It simply means you’re living in a world steeped in weight stigma and diet culture.
For many people, though, it can be helpful to pause and ask:
Why do I want a smaller body?
Often, the answers fall into two categories: health and happiness.
Can We Pursue Health Without Pursuing Weight Loss?
Many people say they want to lose weight because they want to improve their health.
And wanting to care for your health is not a bad thing.
But it’s important to remember that weight itself is not a behavior.
Read that again:
Weight is not a behavior.
Behaviors are things like eating a variety of foods, moving our bodies in enjoyable ways, getting adequate sleep, managing stress, staying hydrated, and supporting our mental health.
These are all things that can influence well-being.
And importantly, they can be pursued independently of intentional weight loss.
Research continues to show that health-promoting behaviors can improve health outcomes regardless of whether someone’s weight changes.
Health is far more complex than a number on the scale.
We Cannot Hate Our Way to Happiness
Another common reason people want to lose weight is the belief that a smaller body will finally allow them to love themselves, feel accepted, or feel good enough.
Diet culture sells this promise constantly.
Lose the weight and you’ll finally be happy.
Lose the weight and you’ll finally feel confident.
Lose the weight and you’ll finally love yourself.
But many people can look back at times when they were living in smaller bodies and recognize something important:
They still weren’t happy.
They still criticized themselves.
They still felt like they weren’t enough.
Because self-worth isn’t something we magically arrive at once we hit a certain number.
We cannot hate our way to happiness.
That doesn’t mean body image work is easy. It’s not.
But it does mean that compassion, curiosity, and respect for ourselves tend to take us much further than criticism ever will.
A Few Things Worth Remembering Right Now
If the current cultural climate is feeling particularly loud, here are a few reminders:
Bodies are supposed to look different.
Body diversity is normal.
Your worth does not fluctuate with your weight.
You do not owe anyone your health, thinness, or body change.
And your life is allowed to be about more than pursuing a smaller body.
There is so much waiting for you outside of the pursuit of weight loss.
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If these conversations feel familiar, working with a weight-inclusive dietitian can help you navigate body image, food guilt, and the constant noise of diet culture with individualized support.
At Find Food Freedom®, our team of registered dietitians and certified intuitive eating counselors offers virtual, insurance-covered counseling rooted in compassionate, evidence-based, weight-inclusive care.
You can check your insurance benefits to see how many sessions may be covered and learn more about working with our team.
